It's been 206 days since we last met.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking.  A NSS post?  These are about as frequent as a positive political post on Facebook these days.  Well, as we near the end of the journey here in Denver for the Boy, I thought instead of posting all the positive stuff on his CaringBridge page, I want to bitch and complain on this page for once.  So, fair warning, the language on this post might get a little colorful so to speak.  Not that it hasn't in the past, but today might get a bit more so.

The meme says it all...

First, fuck cancer.  Yeah, I know that it goes without saying.  But having lived down here for the better part of the last 9 months, I'm seeing day in and day out these kids battling these horrific battles with cancer.  We have friends back in SD that are finding out their daughters/nieces have rare cancers.  What the fuck?  How the hell does a kid, some of these I see are tiny little toddlers, have cancer?  They have done nothing in their lives to invite it.  They haven't done all those things that we're told not to do.  And yet there are people in the world that drink to excess, smoke a bazillion packs of cigarettes, do all the drugs and fuck prostitutes like it's going out of style and yet they still make millions of dollars playing guitar for the Rolling Stones and not get cancer.  Possibly the least fair disease I've ever seen, so yeah, FUCK CANCER.

Look at his smile.  He's a happy boy.

Second, after having lived this whole bullshit lifestyle, I can tell you a secret.  You know how when you find out someone has a traumatic thing happen in their life?  What does everyone do?  You say to that person, "if there is anything I can do, just let me know."  But, I will tell you, that person doesn't know what they need. Has no fucking clue. Their mind is racing a million miles a minute.  They are completely freaked out by the circumstances.  I will also tell you, especially when you're separated from your home like we have been, it can get real lonely, real quick.  When you're alone with your thoughts (in this situation) you dwell on what is happening and what might happen in the future and that can take you down a dark and scary place.  So, what can you do to help?  You don't have to do some big, grand gesture.  All you have to do is shoot that person a text.  Give them a call.  Send a card.  Let them know they are not alone in their battle, what ever that battle is.  I'm telling you, having people break up your days with a quick communication might not seem like you're doing much but it can mean the world to the person on the receiving end.  Thankfully, the Boy had that from some of his friends, school, and family.

One of the few rides I've been able to do this spring.

Third, and let's lighten the mood here a bit, I've gotten completely out of shape and ungodly fat.  I was going back through my last post (I've had 206 days to dwell on it) and I laughed about me whining about finding time to ride.  Shit.  I wish I had that problem now.  It seems like the last month or so I haven't even had the time when I'm here to think about riding, much less actually go.  I've brought a bike with me almost every single trip down and most of the time it rests quietly in the back of my truck.  For a while during the winter I was finding some time to work out, but as we've gotten closer to the end, this whole thing is moving like a carpet unrolling.  It seems like more doctors appointments, scans, cramming school work in, getting my extensive cleaning list done, waiting for the piece of shit infusion drug company (that is getting paid HUGE money) to deliver whenever they fucking feel like it, go in for a blood test and end up being admitted overnight, you name it.  On top of it, as I mentioned in my last post, I can't just go out for a quick ride.  I have to have someone be with the Boy.  And now that we're living at Brent's Place (which has been amazing), we are 30 miles from my mom's house, so it's not quite so easy to find a time just to "pop over" and bang out a quick ride.  When I'm home and I bitch about, it people say "don't worry, you'll get it back quickly". I truly hope they are right, but right now I'm not so confident in that...maybe they are just being nice.  I've heard a couple of those inspirational poster bullshit quotes saying "pain is weakness leaving the body" and "sweat is fat crying".  Well, I've got a lot of fat-crying and weakness-leaving to do.

Fourth, and finally, living apart from my Lovely for the last 9 months has sucked giant donkey balls.  In the 250+ days since this whole thing started, we've spent about approximately 8% of that time together (something like 22 days).  Good thing we've got a strong relationship.  I totally understand how things like this can break up people's marriages.  We're going to have to re-learn how to live together.  Maybe I can ease her into it by not being at home a ton by trying to ride some of my fat off...

So, there you have it.  Not as many cuss words as I had initially anticipated.  I'm looking forward to getting some riding in.  Looking forward to going from ultra-fat to just plain ol' fat.  Looking forward to posting maybe ten times more frequently (so, every 20.6 days vs. 206 days).  But mostly I'm looking forward to all of us being home!