SH*T Cyclists Say

As I may or may not have described over the years on this sad little blog, I mentally plan out my posts over the course of riding a few days, then I put pen to paper, or fingers to keys, or what ever the hell we do now,  and the mental diarrhea comes spewing out.  And, as is typical with me, I have been planning one post for a few days (or weeks in this case) and then something comes along and blindsides me causing me to put the previous post on the back burner to share at a future date.  

The postponed post had to do with physical therapy, dares between physical therapists and the odds that I'll end up on America's Funniest Videos or become a viral video on YouTube, so stay tuned for that one.  BUT, something happened this week that made me stop and question everything I do when it comes to riding my bike.  

I'm sure everyone has seen these Shit Cyclist Say videos floating around the interwebs....

There is much truth to this video (and the others), but especially the comments/excuses about not why they are not riding well.

So, I ended up riding with some people recently that I'd never met or ridden with before.  As usual, I am happy and excited to ride with new people.  I've ridden with people in my past that I definitely wouldn't hang out with outside of riding, so I have a lot of patience when it comes to riding partners as I am sure many have exercised when riding with me.  

Shortly after starting the ride with these people, the excuses started flying. 

"This is my second ride today." 

"I gotta get home soon, my daughter is making dinner." 

"I haven't been feeling well lately." 

"Ugghh, I ate Taco Johns for lunch today." (Well, this might be a legit excuse.)

"I nicked myself shaving my balls so my seat is irritating me." 

"I gotta puke out an excuse so if you beat me up this climb/down this descent, you'll know why, but if I beat you up this climb or down the descent you'll be amazed in my ability to ride with a handicap."

(I really wish the last thing is what everyone would say, 'cause it is exactly what we're doing.)

AARRRGGHHH! WHY do we do this?  We've all done it (some more than others) and we all should know better.  I guess I've never heard any of these from the few women I've ridden with, so maybe it just a testosterone soaked guy thing, but really WHY?  Do we do it so we can save face with the people we're riding with?  Do we do it to convince ourselves that we there is a reason we're not riding well (in our minds) or so we feel better about how we're riding on a particular day?

Here's the thing...I DON'T CARE.  I don't care if you are climbing/descending faster/slower than me.  Don't get me wrong, I care if you truly are sick, 'cause I don't want to see you toss your cookies all over the trail, but if those comments are flying, typically you're not truly sick or injured.  I'm just happy I'm out riding and riding with someone else, sharing in the experience.  If I beat you up the climb or down the descent, guess what?  I won't think anything more or less of you, although there could be a high-five at the end of the run, saying nice job.  That's it.  

So, no more excuses.  Just ride and have fun, which is what I'm gonna do tonight.  With a group of guys.  We're gonna ride then "tailgate" afterwards, should be a good time.  But it is a group of guys so I'd better go stub my toe, eat something to upset my stomach or nick myself with my razor, you know, just in case.