Fast guys, a formerly fast guy and gettin' high.

Riding with fast guys. There is this stupid assed theory that if you ride with guys faster than you, you'll get faster. Well, I've been riding with guys faster than me for quite a while now and I don't really think I'm a bit faster than I was before, so I'm calling bullshit on this original theory. But I have a discovered a part of this theory that is missing that henceforth will be known as the Fubar Postulate. The Fubar Postulate will read as: When a velocipede pilot (also known as a cyclist) of inferior velocity is engaged in improving said velocity the "cyclist" shall pedal in front of other "cyclists" that are of superior velocity when compared to the "cyclist trying" to improve their velocity, thusly being forced to pedal faster and improve his/her velocity. (What the fuck? I just had to correct this as when I read it, it was jibberish, all discombobulated in the bits of the interweb. Sorry for any confusion. No I wasn't drunk when I originally posted it.)

We've ridden some stuff that I knew and the others didn't really know so well, so I had to lead the ride most of the way. With guys breathing down your neck, you push yourself harder than if you see them ahead of you pulling away slightly. Which is also why I didn't wear my heart rate monitor. I knew I'd be in the front of the pack and I really didn't want to know when my fucking heart was going to explode.

Speaking of riding in front of fast guys...right now, the Super Bowl of cycling is taking place right now in the Tour de France. Lance Armstrong, the American racer with the most Tour wins in history (7) is one week in and, well, lets say he isn't having the best week of his life.

After 3 years out of the racing lime-light in a quasi-retirement, Lance decided to come back to pro cycling and give the Tour another shot. And for all the good luck he's had in the past (keeping out of crashes, being in the right spot when break-away's happen) he's got all the bad luck anyone could ask for in this year's version. Who knows, maybe he doped in the past as Floyd said, and isn't anymore, maybe it is just his age rearing its ugly head or maybe his luck has just run out. But, I've got an idea. He should practice the Fubar Postulate. Get his ass in front of the other fastest guys and peg it there for the next two weeks.

I realize hindsight is 20/20, but maybe Lance shouldn't have come back this year. Like many others that have come back out of retirement to get one more shot at glory (Jordan at the Wizards, Muhammed Ali, etc.) it reminds you that first of all, they were great when they were at the peak of their careers, second of all, they are human and finally, it is kinda sad that they just can't let go of their glory days. Lance has got a LOT of stuff to do outside of pro cycling, he should just go do that. Or even better, he should take some magic mushrooms like this guy clearly has.

I realize this video has become completely viral this last week, so I'm sure you've seen it (hell, I've watched it about 5 times and don't get sick of it), but I had to post it too. Kids, this video should be a warning to all you out there that taking hallucinogenic drugs should not become part of your lifestyle. Whoa, what does it mean? Double rainbow indeed...